[The feed switched on, and Parker's face flickered into view. Right up close, filling up the screen. She was, in fact, distinctly uncomfortably close. She was squinting at the camera--or whatever passed for a camera on her journal.]

Hey. Whether you're listening right now, or you're going to review this later, I figured you left a recording device for a reason. So. I though I'd let you know. This is definitely the weirdest kidnapping I've ever experienced. I mean, it was pretty well done, but...

[She moved the camera around a bit, jerkily--Parker was no smooth filmer, much more used to taking covert videos from a cellphone or a button camera than an actual handheld, let alone a handheld book camera--to show the very Dark Ages, ancient castle-esque surroundings. A fast swing took the camera back to her.]

I mean, this looks like somewhere in Western Europe. Ancient, musty, castle-y, kind of England? ... Seriously?